The Curious Thing About Curiosity
Lately I’ve been curious about curiosity.
The word curious is used a lot, but what does it really mean to be curious? Does it mean we want to learn facts and gather information in service of something else — an outcome, a performance, a goal? Or does it mean we’re open to a new experience for the experience’s sake? Can it be both? In my opinion, these are very different things, but the word is used interchangeably.
One is directed by the mind - the taking in of new information for a purpose. It’s calculated.
The other is an experience. The mind is on board but it’s felt and it’s guided by something else.
There are days when B asks me a gazillion "why" questions. On autopilot it can feel like a test — question in, answer out, move on.
Recently, in one of those moments, I was deep in the doing, a long list of chores to knock out around the house, when the questions started. Something caught my attention — a feeling in my body, tension and tightness, like a wall going up. Information. A signal to do something differently. Her uncharted wondering had just met my charted doing — two completely different qualities of attention in the same moment.
This time, instead of pushing through it, I slowed down and joined her in her exploration. As we explored, the tightness and tension began to dissipate. Where the conversation took us was unexpected. Not always linear. Not directed. Not charted. Just open and moving, learning as you go, without knowing where you're headed. And it was fun!
She wasn’t building toward a conclusion. Each why just opened another why. She was completely in the experience of wondering, with no destination in sight.
We were present with what was arriving, and all the doing that seemed so important faded.
I realized the tightness and tension weren't about her questions. They were self-imposed — the do do do, the task list, always speeding ahead and never present.
Slowing down made curiosity possible. Curiosity isn't a tool. It's a state — one that has no destination, just an openness to explore.
What are you curious about?